† 我是hikari♥

2011-05-20T08:47:00.002+08:00

ii had a wonderful day on 18th may 2011

the little things we had was such a wonderful time..

ii still would remember uu sleeping by my side..

hugging me to sleep and all ii did was tear

wishing it was not a dream..

wishing tat all this never happen..

i'm sorry but ii just miss those days we had..

the best memories ii had tat day was when we were walking back

uu seem tat uu didnt bother

but uu took out a tissue and wipe it

uu even had to wipe it wif ur clothes..

we joke we laugh we smile..

and ii knew eventually uu had to leave me still

it was just like no other fairy tale..

it was fun..at the beach when ii look at uu while uu play my game

and ii was listening to the music..

you look at me and said okay imma look uu for 5 mins..

ii wish uu did..

ii really wish tat 5 mins was uu looking at me again..

eventually ii knew tat

ii had to do wat's right and ii know

maybe it was all this while

we knew tat everything change..

ii just hope our love will never change and never be apart..

it was a day ii never will forget

the times just like how we used to be..

and still ii knew in the end

who ii am to you..

thank you so much for tat wonderful day.

2011-04-12T04:39:00.002+08:00

I hate it when my family is screwed up..

ii hate it when everything has to be this way..

honestly im sick and tired..

being a human being really sucks..

ii hate having to think

ii hate having to hv feelings

ii had e hurtful and sad feelings..

ii hate being tied

ii hate everything tat is not seen

the little things in life tat they will never see

ii hate e mistakes ii tried to mend they will never see in it

im tired

ii am tired really

this sucks

no matter wat ii am

or who ii am

they just dont see it

just dun understand it

im trying to think and keep reminding myself

they are my parents

its a duty for them to react this way

i know

but why can't the world be simple

ii dont need ppl to comment anything on me

ii dun need anyone to judge me

ii noe everyone makes mistakes

so do ii..but ii never

once ii my life

say ii hate my parents

ii know

at times ii get piss and mad abt it

but at e end of e day

ii noe tat im just mad at them

because ii noe they care

and ii noe

there is this stupid fking work call OVERPROTECTING

and ii FKING HATE TAT FEELING!

its sucks..ii wish ii could just get out e bloody door

ii wish ii can just go to somewhere

and breathe

for one day..

think of nth else

nth at all..all ii just need is

peace and air

my brain is killing me

its sucks..this feeling sucks..i hate it

ii dun want it..and it hurting me..

my brain is gonna burst

and im gonna break down soon

im just trying my best to be strong

haiz..my brain hurts now..

and why am ii tearing..

wat e fk am ii tearing..

haiz sigh..

its so hard to understand the world and how one thinks

cuz they can nv understand ...

life sucks at times..

this is e point of time

my life sucks and im screwed up wif it..

2011-02-25T02:18:00.003+08:00

Far longer than forever

I'll hold you in my heart..

As constant as the stars,

i'll close my eyes and ii see you in my thoughts..

was ii able to keep those thoughts to myself..

hmm..ii miss those days..

if only ii was able to tell uu this

ii love you tat much

and tat love was once greater than anything ii had..

it's gone now..

2011-02-18T09:08:00.002+08:00

finally a morning to breathe fresh air..

been busy and staying up in the night..

thanks for being patient with me through e nights..

ii apologize the days ii made uu confused over certain stuff..

ii had lots of fun,jokes and laughter though..

gosh!next week is so gonna be a tough week for me..

sigh..ii need a break..

argh..

2011-02-13T09:28:00.002+08:00

it's valentine's day tomorrow..

fuck the day..

why am ii fucking feel sad..

why am ii still tearing here..

why did ii had to be the fucking one tat deserve all this..

uu wanna know how ii feel now..

i'm fucking screw and ii hate to know tat

why the fuck am ii still doing this to myself..

all those things..

those are lies..those are fucking empty promises..

there are only dreams..

why then..why the fuck would you want to promise

or do something when u're walking away..

why love me when uu know uu are tired..

why start when uu end up leaving without explaining..

why make my heart hurts so fucking deep..

WHY WHY WHY!!

WHY THE FUCK AM II STILL THIS WAY..

arghhhhhhhhhh..

tears..

ii got lost deep down,

sigh..

2011-02-13T09:16:00.002+08:00

it's been 2mths u're gone..

ii hate to know that uu are fucking gone..

ii know it's all just me..

i'm e one tat couldn't let you go..

ii hate it..

ii do miss you..

i'm worried still..

but whatever it is

ii ain't gonna be there any more

ii want you to know

it doesn't matter who goes

ii couldn't have love you better..

i'm already gone..

2011-02-03T10:05:00.002+08:00

freaking hangover..

damn it..feel like puking..

okay its chinese new year..

and guess wat..ii dun give a damn..

fucking sian..

my brother woke up so late..

feel like cuddling him haha..

awesome brother of mine..

gosh fuck man!

ii only left like 2 more bottles of vodka..

parents got so many cans of beer..

ii can't drink beer ii will puke!

he's back..

feels like shit..dun noe why ii still worry for you..

ii wish ii nv did..

ii just can't stop my mind from loving you..

ii hope you had a great time..

iimissyou..iiwishallthiswasalie..aliethatiiwouldntwanttoknow..

2011-02-01T07:46:00.002+08:00

ii so hate to wake up everyday and tell myself you're gone

and ii so hate myself for not moving on..

ii hate to lie but this is who ii am now..

that fucking girl you never could imagine how you change my life..

fuck man..why am ii even tearing for you again..

why are you still inside my damn fucking brain..

ii wish ii could just let it go..

it's so hard..i'm sorry boy..

ii ain't just like you..

ii cannot leave without a trace..

you just fucked my life

by adding wonderful sugar to me

and now it's just an ending..

2011-01-28T18:52:00.002+08:00

OH MY GOD!

fucking pain..injure my spine and back..

haven been sleeping enough recently

its like 3rd wk of sch and tons of work!

woot!school is stress but fun to hv friends and lecturers..

after all e sch works ii feel i'm like getting sleepless nights recently..

so not in a mood for new yr this year..

sucks though..damn it why do uu still appear in my mind..

ii wish ii could just fking hell not think..

what the fuck is called love when uu left my fucking broken heart..

all the memories..all that we had done..

experience uh?sorry boy,you ain't know the feeling uu cause me now..

ii was foolish to love uu so deep..

ii was foolish to left e fucking bite scars left behind now..

ii was foolish to think u're the man ii would marry..

but you know something..

ii dun regret e choice i've made even though this is e ending..

ii appreciate all the moments ii had..

ii woke up from reality..

i'm appreciating e moment being single..

drinking..hanging out late..having wonderful friends..

tattooing,dying hair,shopping,being doted by adrain,chris,janice..

although u're still in my mind most of e time..

but tat's for me to hide it away..

2011-01-21T07:45:00.002+08:00

koi fish drew by samurai oOkami..

awesome tattoo on his right arm..

been having 3 sleepless nights and finally

ii drop dead ytd..

ii wonder why ii still bother uu..

my heart is dead and has a big hole

but why do ii still..

still bother abt uu..

ii pray hard that she will appreciate and love uu

as for me..

well..life goes on as it is each day

and for e days we had,

ii always kept it deep inside my heart..

2011-01-15T08:30:00.002+08:00

PURPLE,BLUE AND SOMEHOW COLOURFUL!~

u take it or leave it..
i'll leave it boy, i'm out of here..
ii don't need u any more..

why do ppl keep telling me

do not be soft hearted blah blah blah..

gosh i'm like fk this man..

dun wanna think so much..

juz let it be e way it is..

argh...fk this feeling

totally like shit..

totally so not in study mood..

2011-01-14T07:41:00.002+08:00

happy birthday little bro..

love uu lots my little bro..

today is LASALLE open house..

ii feel so damn shag today

5hrs of sleep..

why do ii still dream of uu boy,

why are uu still inside my mind..

feels so shit right now..

sigh..fk this..

ii wish ii could let uu go..

it's so freaking hard..

ii told uu ii was happy

in my heart ii was crying..

my silent tears..

this feeling sucks to the core..

empty promises..

anyways..my hair is in colourful colour!

awesome!

its like purple blue black and brown..

2011-01-13T08:08:00.002+08:00

Impossible..

BLIV..

ain't the same way again..

all my scars are open..

impossible to mend it back..

all we had is gone now..

falling out is hard..

...

impossible

2011-01-13T07:18:00.002+08:00

if sorry was everything tat uu could say to cover all e lies..

dun bother to apologize, for it hurts more than anything

if sorry was a word tat could mend all these,

ii would turn away and stand there watching uu leave just like how ii used to..

"it takes time" uu said to me..

boy it takes time for uu to realized how deep uu caused me

my silent tears..it was all lies..

uu ain't coming back..

tat's for sure..

boy, just live ur life..

ii won't ask for more now..

it just need a break..

i'm tired..very tired of all these..

...

2011-01-12T22:00:00.000+08:00

Your soul and spirit dances on the sunset light,
Like a flame dances on it's wick,
You never die,
You never fall,
Forever still,
Love may set you free,
Or it may chain you to the floor with no key.
As pure as the mist from the forest floor,
Is your soul,
All good,
Never evil.
You seek a path in the road that is never there,
You must travel farther then before to reach your goal,
Never follow the common path,
But always go where there is no path and leave a trail.

2011-01-12T08:31:00.002+08:00

it's been a month

a month ii won't wanna remember..

i'm trying so hard to stop thinking about uu..

ii hate this feeling..

a feeling ii can't control

tearing every night..

knowing uu are gone and better off wif her..

ii find it hard to believe..

swallowing wat ii hv to

im broke down..

but every steps ii pick myself up

ii know,someday

it ain't e same any more..

i'm bleeding..

goodbye

2011-01-11T08:22:00.002+08:00

im caught up in ur mess..

juz another day..

feeling like shit every morning..

cant believe its real..

ii wish ii can let go

but ii cant seem to get over uu..

fk this feeling..

it used to mean so much..

reality is here

its very clear

ii should let things go..

ii cant stand the thoughts of watching uu disappear..

got me tripping

im in this crazy mess..

ii wish ii can let go

but ii cant seem to get over uu

if ii had a dream,

ii dream it will be a fantasy..

a fantasy of uu and me were in e past..

never would want to wake up frm tat dream..

for the true hurts to know tat uu are already gone..

2011-01-08T23:41:00.002+08:00

its like 2 more days and it's a mth already..

ii cant imagine i've suffered alot these few weeks..

the truth,the lies,the smiles,the sadness,the pain..

ii hope uu are doing well now..

ii don't know why

and ii know ii shouldn't have said this..

ii cant believe it

im missing uu..

ii know uu never will

uu move on to someone uu are happy..

but why does it still hurts so much..

ii dun blame dun feel any anger..

this feeling sucks..

the feeling of drinking each night is like a suffering..

juz to forget uu in my mind..

its been awhile i've hear ur voice..

ii miss those days..

it's bleeding but ii dun feel pain..

why why does it hurts so much..

ii wish ii juz could forget wats pain..

sch is starting soon

time will heal..

2011-01-08T14:57:00.002+08:00

down by 7kg!awesome..

had a great time wif leeyan ytd =)

drinking ytd again..

sch starting soon le worh..

cant wait for projects to come..

so looking forward to sch!~

it's bleeding and ii dun feel pain at all

ii juz did it.

2011-01-05T22:36:00.002+08:00

050111..

today is e date of our mth anni when we were tgt..

honestly the feeling sucks to the core..

ii tried so hard not to remember stuff

ii got myself injured again..

knee cap hurts badly..

sigh..

ii hate to think abt it

ii cant believe im crying now while crying this..

sigh..it aint e same any more

juz like how to told me

its different..

2011-01-03T23:23:00.000+08:00

im srry..

sigh..

2011-01-03T22:40:00.000+08:00

uu asked me "does it still matters to you.." it only matters to me if ii cant be e one to protect uu any more and im seeing all this happening..

2011-01-03T11:22:00.002+08:00

2nd Jan 2011..

many things ii so wanna say..

had a day wif jia xin,her little bro and a little sis..

jia xin is so innocent and ii had so much little chats with her..

her birthday is coming up

hope she likes e little present..

5th jan 2011 is coming..

its almost 1 mth passed and ya sigh..

my heart seems so painful still..

ii so wish ii could forget abt uu..

ii so wish all this never had to happen..

ii so wish tat it was juz like a dream..

when uu loved someone so deep..

uu cant stop thinking abt him..

im moving along wif life..

still with ur love tat uu gave..

life isn't tat bad

it's juz tiring..

2011-01-01T09:52:00.002+08:00

hangover.

had fun ytd..

lol..ii cant believe im laughing out so loud at what i'm seeing..

can't stop laughing my ass out!

2011 wishes aint coming true

so ya screw it!

haha..

xiao xi lu sis ii wish uu all e best to find a guy tat will love uu..

spark thanks for being e kuku and msg me ytd

chris mei thank u for accompany tat past few days of my most fk up days..

tanti my little babe haha thanks for always being there..

woohoo..learning to drink isnt tat bad uu noe..

yes pay day soon tattoo is so gonna come on my skin!

2011 ii wish everyone happy and smile ya!

2010-12-31T22:45:00.002+08:00

Absolut Vodka for the night!

drink drank drunk..

wow this is my first time ii keep drinking

drinking after e broke up..

feeling moody again..

its like 2 more hrs till 2011

and my wish will nv come true

there aint miracle any more..

haha..tats it for today..

im gonna drink drank drunk..

2010-12-31T09:09:00.002+08:00

24th july 2009

ii remember this wonderful meal by uu..

haha to come and think of it..

it feels yummy..

ii missed ur cooking for me..

appreciated those days uu took care of me..

sian morning wake up hving nightmares abt uu again

so many days le..

ii wish my mind could rest

but ii cant get to sleep well or eat well

well..time for work!

time for a day clean up e shop!

woot pay day soon!!

2010-12-30T22:45:00.002+08:00

My nails is injure..wtf

my body is all blue black and argh cuts..

so many stuff today..

busy until whole day empty tummy..

my god..

5days nv eat anything only drink..

e most ii had these past few days was bread..

lol..ii lost 5kg man!

wonderful diet..

2nd day hving period..

feel super moody..

sian..

haiz..no comments man..

2010-12-29T08:29:00.002+08:00

wat a dream again..

dreaming ii lost uu

seeing uu walk away..

sigh..

my whole body is aching now..

im so sleepy..

ii wish ii could hv those days again..

sigh..

2010-12-28T23:09:00.002+08:00

ii now im childish..

ii noe ii nv spare a thought abt uu..

ii noe ii always was e one..

ii noe ii tried to let uu noe

ii noe ii aint nth..

compare to ur friends..

ii aint worth anything any more..

im juz a passerby each day..

ii ain't worth ur tears..

ii aint worth ur love..

this is wat it is now..

im aint worth it..

uu hv be gone..

sigh..

2010-12-28T09:33:00.002+08:00

its been like 18 days w/o uu..

ii proberly guess uu are happier now..

sigh no comments abt life..

ii cant believe all this is happening so fast..

ii juz hope one day uu nv had to feel hurt

because i'll be worried..

2010-12-27T07:58:00.002+08:00

drinking again..

ii remember this photo all of a sudden..

haha..ii miss this photo..

It takes great courage to be in love and when all has come to an end,

it becomes e most wonderful memories..

if history would repeat itself again,

ii would choose the same path to walk because

it was a blessing to hv uu once in a lifetime..

ii never regret anything

always my silly love deep down..

2010-12-26T22:41:00.002+08:00

Take time to realised..

ii wrote a very long msg while ii was at work..

to be freak..

ii dun noe yy ii miss uu tat much..

ii noe uu wont even hv feelings any more..

wonder how hv uu been le..

so tempted to talk 2 uu when ii see uu online..

but haiz..

im so afraid

ii cant control my emotions

...

so wish uu could talk 2 me..

sigh..

2010-12-26T09:13:00.002+08:00

ii remember those simple things..

e only memory ii want to forget is to say goodbye..

those were wonderful times ii cherish alot..

thank uu for always being there faithfully

and the most wonderful times of my life

is the times ii spent wif uu..

2010-12-26T07:37:00.002+08:00

juz another nightmare..

when ii woke up

feeling so tired and shag..

if ii could forget something now..

ii would want to forget uu saying goodbye..

the hardest thing is to watch uu leave

but seeing uu happy and praying that uu will always

be the way uu are..

memories are enough for me

i'll keep in deep inside

for im nth any more..

2010-12-26T00:57:00.003+08:00

MERRY XMAS TO ALL!

its been a day working..

tired..

each day uu left me aside..

each day ii watch uu leave further and further..

ii could only watch ur footprints

watch uu leave and nv return..

merry xmas to uu and hope uu hv a wonderful time..

iiwishiicouldsaythosewordstouuagain..

2010-12-25T08:36:00.002+08:00

im still learning e art of love

im still trying to knock this out..

it ain't perfect

but it was worth it..

the times im gonna miss..

another nightmare..

stay up still 2am ytd..

damn shag..

haiz..im controlling my feelings

and its so hard..

2010-12-24T22:02:00.002+08:00

uu noe wats e best thing before xmas..

is to noe how unbelievable things can happened..

and uu noe wat..

ii aint anything..

its been stab wif a knife..

tat deep..

tat deep until uu will nv even noe..

2010-12-24T08:15:00.003+08:00

24th dec

1 more day to xmas..

2010-12-23T22:21:00.002+08:00

drinking again!awesome!

today sales was freaking tired..

damn wrapping so much to do..

woohoo!

ii juz realised after work

ii actually had a deep cut

omg! is this how it's gonna feel

when ii go for tattooing..

hmm..wondering..

my brain keep repeating

all those stuff..sibei sian..

ii also dun noe ii go think for fk..

anyways weeeeeeeee

xmas is coming!

2010-12-23T09:04:00.002+08:00

feeling better after drinking ytd..

uu noe wat

after a good sleep..

hmm..there was nightmare though

it aint worth any more

cutting,biting it aint worth because

ii guess..uu noe it well..

im gone..

2010-12-23T00:17:00.002+08:00

ii open my eyes..

seeing wats infront of me..

ii realised tat e world is not like wat uu said..

its realistic but uu noe sth

e world can be wonderful if uu cherish things..

after knowing much stuff..

ii noe wat ii should do..

uu wont ever come back any more..

this is for real..

watever uu do

ii wish uu all e best

e truth hurts but

seeing uu happy its all ii want..

to love someone is not asking much

but to see happiness in him/her..

all e best..

uu hv chose ur path

and so ii tell uu..

no matter wat uu had done

ii dun blame uu

forgiveness is always there..

dun turn back

walk straight

this is wat uu want most..

go ahead..

take gd care of one another

ur wish has been fullfilled..

im gone..

2010-12-22T08:47:00.002+08:00

ii miss uu badly..

ii wish ii could hug uu tight again..

ii found myself being stupid

ii wish ii could go out wif uu again

uu didnt online ytd but its alright

ii miss out small chats on e photo..

my 2011 wish for uu written on e ballon

050509 , our little memories..

all e best to ur career baby..

iiloveuu..

2010-12-20T23:17:00.002+08:00

ya ii noe im not a kid any more

uu ask me take care of myself..

haiz..sian

ii really want to tell uu how ii feel

but forget it..

ii dun want to because ii dun want us to not even be friends..

im hiding all these feelings

ii hope some day ii can tell uu

when we are both ready..

ii shall keep all these now..

im happy to see uu rest now

ii miss uu lots..

damn much..ii really feel like hugging uu

even if ii slept in e shop today..

ii wish e person i was leaning against was uu and not e drawers..

anyway..jia you alright

iiloveyou..

2010-12-20T23:13:00.001+08:00

wtf!!!!!

pain pain pain!!!

argh..hand stupid hands..

unless man!

haiz..

sian..

5 more days to xmas..

2010-12-20T09:15:00.001+08:00

ah screw it..

so shag today..

sian supposingly no work but not enough ppl..

argh..damn tired

hving my gastric pain now..

sian..

ii wish ii could hug uu to sleep now seriously..

2010-12-20T08:52:00.003+08:00

because ii knew uu

ii hv been change for good..

ii finally understood e feeling of not understanding uu

and spamming calls and msg

ii hope uu are free juz like a bird

ii miss uu still

but i'll always love uu juz the way it used to be..

u'll always be my silly love..

2010-12-19T22:11:00.002+08:00

okay fk!

today is like a super day sian day..

got a cut and its damn pain..

cant feel much e pain ii guess..

hmm..think its a deep cut

watever..ii dun care..

super tired and busy today..

shag..

wondering how hv uu been recently

ii proberly guess u're busy too..

rest well and hv plenty of rest..

feel like cuddling uu now..

ii noe right.. im dreaming!

stupid me..

9dayswithoutuu..

iimissuusomuch..

sigh..

2010-12-19T00:25:00.000+08:00

sad..haiz..

im starting to miss uu again..

2010-12-18T19:25:00.000+08:00

im beginning to think tat ur life without me

seems better and happier..

ur photos,ur smiles..

ii can see uu being happy there..

im happy for uu honestly..

at least uu noe wat uu want now..

work hard for it ya..

ii believe uu can do it..

and i'll always be there supporting uu..

uu may nv noe..

ourstorystillcontinuesbutitsabeginningofanewchapter..

2010-12-18T18:39:00.001+08:00

iiknowwhoiiamtoday

becauseiiknewuu..

uutaughtmemanythings..

uuthoughtmetolovetoenjoythosemoments..

iiwillalwaysalwaysrememberuu..

deepinsidemyheart..

2010-12-18T08:37:00.000+08:00

Sometimes we let affection,go unspoken,

Sometimes we let our love go unexpressed,

Sometimes we cant find words to tell our feelings,

Especially towards those we love the best.

sigh..

day8withoutuu..

itssodarkhere..

nowtatuuhvgone..

2010-12-17T23:47:00.001+08:00

haiz..

im crying again..

every morning and nite

its e same things..

its so hurting..

iimissuusomuch..

uu seem like going on ur life..

tats great for uu ii guess..

iibrokedown..

sigh..

2010-12-17T22:55:00.002+08:00

BLIV..

Believe Liv..

almost done with e design..

ii was thinking abt uu again..

sigh..

iimissuulots..it'sday7withoutuu..

iistillloveyou..

imsoscaredandafraid..

itssocoldhere..

imfeelingsick..

2010-12-17T07:54:00.002+08:00

ii fall..fallen into a deep dark hole..

im stuck..

ii thought ii could fly..

iimissyoubadly..

so afraid i'll show my emotions

ii tried my best not to let anyone noe how ii feel

honestly 7 days w/o uu

e feeling really sucks

haiz..im not willing to start another chapter..

iihatetoseeuuleave..

itjuzhurtstatmuch..

2010-12-17T00:00:00.001+08:00

wa sian

ii got a deep cut at my finger

didnt noe when it happen..

sigh..

so many bruises now

so tired overworking juz

to let time passed..

haiz..

2010-12-16T22:54:00.002+08:00

its been a tough day..

knowing tat my life goes on..

iiwishiihadasecondchancetochangeallthis..

2010-12-16T09:24:00.003+08:00

Day 6 without uu..

its hard to believe

u're gone..

ive been crying so hard

every morning and night seems to be a nightmare

ii wish it nv happen this way..

do uu really dun hv feelings for me?

ur ans was we can be friends..

haiz..to think ii was so naive

uu nv would come back any more

ii would nv hv e second chance to put back e pieces of puzzles in ur life..

im sorry..

ii was being e silly one..

sigh..

2010-12-15T23:08:00.001+08:00

ii ask for forgiveness..

ii wish ii had another chance..

to change all this..

haiz..ii wish....

2010-12-15T22:29:00.003+08:00

ii miss ya very much..

ii dun wish to lie to myself again..

ii was sitting

at woodlands mrt..

e place we used to sit..

for e moment ii tears

ii remember we used to joke tat..

so many things we used to say...

haiz..

ii noe ii should not be crying now..

but ii cant control my feelings

e only thing ii can do

is not to let uu noe

how am ii..

2010-12-15T08:22:00.002+08:00

lost in my world..

uu told me e world is realistic

uu told me to figure wat ii want..

ii was thinking abt uu

thinking abt us..

ii knew ii was wrong in many ways..

now uu aint around..

it juz aint right..

ii wish it was juz a dream..

sigh..

2010-12-15T07:07:00.002+08:00

ii couldnt get to bed..

ii feel like a stupid idiot..

ii shouldnt hv msg uu so early at 3am in e morning..

ii dun noe wats going on in my mind..

xmas is coming closer and closer..

im so afraid..

im trying to occupied my time

and do things to forget all this..

omg screw it!

new girls to train today..argh..

alliiwantforxmasisuu..

juzuuwilldo..

2010-12-15T03:13:00.000+08:00

Being deeply loved by someone gives uu strength,

while loving someone deeply gives uu courage..

2010-12-15T02:24:00.001+08:00

its 2.25am..

im awake..

cant get to sleep..

guess too much coffee today..

my heart is beating so fast..

ii dun noe why..

youssimii..

2010-12-14T21:11:00.000+08:00

im crying..

finally ii got a msg frm uu..

im happy enough le..

thank uu so much..

2010-12-14T20:44:00.002+08:00

after stoning for 2 hrs at far east today..

ii feel like a big retard..

a couple was beside me..

ii remember e first time ii came to far east..

e memories slowly came back..

ii was smiling to myself

abt e silly stuff and funs we had..

silly love..

2010-12-14T20:04:00.002+08:00

this was how ii see uu

walk away juz like tat day..

ii see ur back

ii see uu walk off..

for e first and last time..

take care of urself ya..

ii will miss uu lots..

im juz worry abt uu..

ii noe im no one to ask uu

ii wish ii can ur shadow..

smiles ya..jia you for work..

2010-12-14T08:03:00.002+08:00

it's so hard..

every morning when ii woke up,

open my eyes,

ii tears..

telling myself u're gone..

hoping uu would come back..

been silly of me biting..

sigh..now uu aint ard

ii cant think..

everyday passes by

juz like days hv to pass..

ii dun feel happy

smile?wats tat?

none there are gone..

ii wish ii could do sth abt it..

......

imlost..

2010-12-13T08:51:00.001+08:00

ii was thinking abt uu..

thinking abt me

thinking abt us

wat we gonna be

ii travel down e road..

hoping uu will come back..

but it was juz a dream..

it was a dream of uu and me..

......

sighs

2010-12-12T08:56:00.002+08:00

ii was thinking abt uu

thinking abt me

thinking abt us..

what we gonna be..

ii close my eyes..

thoughts of our memories..

im out of energy

ii feel like a dead person..

ii cant eat a single thing..

e only thing im able to do

is to stone and to drink..

im breaking down soon..

ii wont post anything in fb

and ii hope uu would talk to me again..

uu remove e necklace on ur neck,

imstillwearingurs..

haiz...

2010-12-11T23:23:00.000+08:00

I'm taking a break and ii juz wanna be alone..

for now..mia..

2010-12-11T09:29:00.002+08:00

ii know..ii lied in facebook..

ii lied tat ii was okay juz for uu not to feel anything..

ii cant lied here..

im crying badly..

ii bite and bite and bite

its hurts so badly

it's so painful

ii miss uu badly

im sorry

ii cant be ur perfect gf

im srry uu had to feel tat way

uu dun want me le..

uu left me..

it hurts

ii noe uu said it's for e best

but why!

WHY DID IT HAD TO BE THIS WAY

baby ii still want uu

ii still want to hv kids wif uu

ii still wanna walk this journey wif uu

sobs

haizzzzzzzzz

im sorry ii tried to lied to myself

im okay..

ii miss those memories..

2010-12-09T20:03:00.002+08:00

its been a day off..

had some time for myself..

still many thoughts came across my mind..

there is still something stuck inside

ii wish ii could tell uu..

ii wish uu could tell me how hv uu been

ii hope to help uu loosen ur burden

ii juz feel myself doing nth..

iimissyoualot..

2010-12-08T08:19:00.002+08:00

Where were uu..

im still feeling down..

ii miss ya but ii noe ii should understand uu..

im waiting..

waiting to see ur face soon..

ii cried to sleep ytd

ii dun noe

some how ii feel cold..

these few days i've been looking forward to ur calls

but uu were too tired and so ii told myself

is okay i'll wait

juz hope uu had enough rest..

hoping for a msg in e morning

ii noe u're busy working

but ii juz hope for a little text..

ii miss ya,ii really do..

2010-12-07T08:58:00.002+08:00

the hardest thing is to..

blog update..

now the pages turned,

the story continues..

is it juz me..

ii feel like screaming..

bad temper recently and argh..

ii dun noe y..

when it comes to night..

i've been hving probs sleeping..

staring up e ceilings and start to think alot..

ii see ur face smiling towards me

but ii couldnt reach it..

the only thing ii did was tears..

e rm seem so silent and ii only could hear myself breathing..

looking at e phone, juz waiting for e text and calls to come..

its been like this for these few days..

ii damn miss uu..

ii miss ur smiles..

ii miss everything abt uu..

sigh..

2010-11-29T09:20:00.002+08:00

It ain't perfect but it's worth it..

it's been a long time seen i've posted stuff..

animation classes are fun and ii love e lectures and classmates there..

kinda stressing but ii guess its how we work..

sleepless nights..haha..

back to work at LDA now..

miss ying rui and siying and e rest alot..

LDA seem so empty w/o them..

dun noe how to explain tat kinda feeling..

and as for babe..

ii damn miss him sooooo much..

argh..damn damn damn miss him..

hope he's doing alright and juz hope he gets more rest..

6 more days to go..

jia you in watever things u're doing..

Okie today starting off work at Causeway..hope ii dun get too bored..

2010-11-05T08:29:00.002+08:00

051110..1 and a half yr passed..

some how ii felt sad..

ii waited up the night ytd

but sigh..

ii miss uu lots..ii want to hear ur voice so much..

ii noe uu have work to do and so on..

jia you okay..

happy 18mths anniversary babe..

i love uu..

2010-10-16T01:33:00.003+08:00

if ii can hold ur hands tat long

ii dun mind standing there for hours..

if ii can reach to uu

ii dun mind travelling the distance

if ii can say to uu ii love you,

ii dun mind to whispering those 3 words to uu everyday

but

if uu were gone,

there's no me,no life,no hope..

we walked through each journey everyday

we gave moral support,

we learn to understand and trust..

and one thing ii want to do most now

is to hold uu tight..

pause tat moment

for as long ii can..

for these are e moments

moments of our love and feelings..

boy,could uu stay for tat second..

cuz im gonna miss uu so much

that uu cant imagine..

2010-09-12T16:30:00.002+08:00

"No life can escape being blown abt by the winds of change and chance,

and though you never

never know all the steps you must learn to join e dance.. "

gosh ii miss him damn much..

ii want him by my side now..

i've been stress up wif my projects..

being an animator really hv lots of work to do..

many datelines to meet up..

ii cant wait to see him real soon..

miss him lots..

2010-09-06T08:31:00.002+08:00

16th mths passed

memories of uu always in my mind

the days of joy fill my each day...

the sadness and loneliness wipes off my mind..

ii miss uu everyday..

every moment..

u're juz all tat ii ever wanted..

my little dearest boy..

happy 16mths anniversary..

for i'll always want uu in my life..

nothing can stop me

from loving you..

2010-08-09T22:54:00.003+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHH...

ii juz feel like screaming!

dun noe why!

PMS ii think..

ii kinda like throw hot temper today..

though ii know ii wasnt suppose to do it..

but ya screw it man..

ii dun noe why ii feel

hmmm..something stuck inside my heart..

juz want blow it out

and hope tat feeling goes away man!!

ii juz feel like going to a corner

scream out loud

and then cry out loud..

argh screw e feeling man!~~

hate it!!!

2010-08-04T21:44:00.002+08:00

is tat stuff so important to ya?

aint worth nth to me man..

ii knew if ii nv gave it to uu..

there uu go..

cant uu juz forget abt e stuff..

it's frm e heart..

why cant uu understand?

the feeling totally sucks when uu gave the conversation..

all uu could say was those..

ii didnt trusted wat ii see yet wat ii heard was

utterly rubbish..

when will this stop?

......

it will not stop..

it shall nv end..

it was the fact..

it will always be e fact..

today,tml and the fucture..

2010-07-31T12:29:00.001+08:00

2th Aug 2010

omg sch starting in 2 more days..

ahhhhh new classmates new lecturer..

hope everything will be alright..

recent events juz passed..

birthday and 14mths wif babe..

hmmm..excited got go back sch but also

feel sian abt sch stress..

ii misssss my baby lots..

cant wait to see him real soon..

thanks for e fred perry and arrangement high tea..

love uu lots..

dun overwork urself worh..

worry abt uu..

ii miss uu lots,

ii really do..

2010-07-10T09:56:00.002+08:00

14 days..

im missing uu worh..

can't wait to see uu soon!

2010-07-07T09:23:00.003+08:00

JULY!!!

omg many things to dooooo....

thanks for e days uu gave me laughter and smiles..

ii could feel e happiness ard..

different emotions juz place on uu..

the hugs so warm and hoping it would juz stop there..

we closed our eyes

ii stared..

stared at ur little face while uu were hving ur little sweet dreams..

14mths passes..

not a single moment left out..

knowing it would be a blessing to hv such wonderful memories..

2010-06-11T08:34:00.001+08:00

days w/o feel so werid..

ii miss ya..

ii really do..

2010-06-09T12:03:00.000+08:00

True Love is not something that can be defined in a sentence.

It is as strapping as much as it is unconditional, comforting as it is reassuring,

powerful as it is everlasting, and anything but superficial.

It is simply wonderful.

Supposedly, the best things in life are free; if only that were true.

True Love takes sacrifice, persistence, and patience… caring and endurance… most of all, acceptance.

To want the best for someone, to be there when you are needed, and to give anything towards what you believe in takes all.

It is not true when it is not genuine.

I say this to all women and men.

To truly love is to give your heart, your spirit, and your soul into what you believe to be worth what it takes to make the pain worth the pleasure.

True Love is above and beyond measure.

True Love is genuine.

True Love is divine.

True Love is yours and

True Love is mine.

2010-06-05T09:26:00.002+08:00

happy 13 mths anni..

may we walk e road tgt..

2010-05-29T09:56:00.002+08:00

juz another simple day of my life..

finally after 9 days of working

manage to get some rest today..

hmmm...seriously ii got so many things to tell him

but ii dun noe which points should ii start frm..

ii miss ya lots..

cant wait to see uu soon..

2010-05-24T10:03:00.002+08:00

down by 2!yesh!

12 more days..

my neck still e same..

ii dun really noe where ii injure..

hope it gets well soon..

hope my love get well too..

lets jia you tgt..

ahhhhhhhhhh seriously,

ii cant wait to get pay day!!

LOL..

2010-05-20T08:34:00.002+08:00

with another helping hand of urs,

ii manage to get up when ii fall..

and the scars are beginning to heal..

strange dreams keeps happen..

ii try to reach out yet ii couldnt end it..

sorrows,happiness,anger feelings were so there..

it soon vanish and began to turn so unreal..

ii began wif my words unspoken

to whom ii only speak to,the only one..

it all juz vanish..

dreams..

p.s cant wait to see uu soon love..miss ya lots..

2010-05-20T00:14:00.002+08:00

It's 12.15am..

Honestly I cant get to bed

shrucks tat feeling..

hmm..today thought alot..

IM SERIOUS DAMN BORED NOW AT HM..

haiz..sian..ii wish ii can sleep

so ii dun hv to like think

tml is another day..
hope everything turn out gd..

2010-05-19T00:30:00.002+08:00

19th May 2010

Happy Birthday Silly Love..

It's 12.30am and u're proberly sleeping..

on this day,ii wanna wish uu a happy birthday..

1yrs past so fast and many things change..

the way we feel

the way we share

every single bit of things I'll always remember..

I know I'm not understanding at times

or even doing dumb things uu dun like..

I noe srry aint nth if it meants by saying so many times..

I'll change and I'll respect uu for who uu are..

I wont wanna see uu unhappy abt me..

Im srry for those past few days

Happy Birthday babe..

if ever ii tried my best
but ii nv succed

im srry i'll try harder

2010-05-18T09:20:00.002+08:00

it mess me up..

hard to breathe..

ii search but ii noe there aint any clue

ii pause and stop

staring at tat..

tat little child of me who was nv grown up..

2010-05-15T23:23:00.003+08:00

I juz cant stop the tears frm falling..

ii noe ii cried like a baby e whole day

trying to hold e tears..

I didnt wanted to eat or to do anything

I juz wanted everything to stop

ii juz feel like saying srry but ii noe those words are only words..

ii cant sleep..

ii cant do anything..

ii juz wish uu were here..

ii ma yrros..

2010-05-08T21:44:00.002+08:00

I miss Lovely Deart peeps!

awwww...ying rui coming back but ii cant work wif her..

my schedules are like fking hell thomson and ii dont like it..

Firstly its like ii only work for 10 hrs!

LESS PAY!

LESS TIME!

LATE TO GO HOME!

CANT GET MORE PAY BY 13th may!

haiz...sian arh!

II WANT TO LIKE GET BACK TO MORE WORK!

ii dun mind like doing more stuff..

as long as ii get my pay target..lol

OMG this is like my first time soooooo tempting for money!

im like fking bored at home now..

went to shop at orchard wif mummy today..

bought a belt,shirt and shorts..

okay was only half half happy..

tired ii guess..

im waiting for my baby now!

ii miss him so much..

2010-05-05T18:50:00.001+08:00

Happy 1 yr anni darling..

cant wait to see uu tml..

ii went shopping today and it was super tiring but fun..

GEEEEE...many clothes ii tried haha..

ii spotted this and tried but was wondering wanna buy a not..

I CANT FIND ANYTHING FOR MY DARLING!!

sad la!! =(((((

okay gonna do my work now..

blog update soon..

2010-05-03T00:27:00.002+08:00

It's 12.30am now..

I cant sleep..I'm missing uu so badly..

sobs..ii dun noe why juz feel like u're juz by my side..

ii missed ya..

ii worry ya...

ii hope uu sleep well..

and also rest well..

tml gotta work at thomson plaza..

ii hope to hear ur voice soon..sobs..

iimissuudear,iireallydo..

2010-04-28T11:59:00.002+08:00

currently here blogging..

hmmm...feel happy and sad though

maybe is my mixed feeling coming again bahx...

geeeeeeeee....haiz.....

do ppl control emotions

or do emotions control ppl..

if there's no emotions,

wat will happen then?

Im wondering...

its juz so life..

ppl ard us said so

yet yy did nv thought of changing wats is life?

uu cant change life but ii cant change wat it is,

isnt it?

hmm... geeeeeeee..

2010-04-25T15:14:00.002+08:00

I dream abt black and white colours

I dream abt black roses for the nite

I dream abt you standing there and smiling at me..

Some times I wish time could pause for a moment

juz to see uu one more time in the eyes..

ii want to fill the colours in ur life..

colours of the rainbow..

im here sitting waiting for uu my love..

miss ya lots..

count down to 10 more days..

2010-04-24T23:17:00.002+08:00

Dearest I miss ya lots..

cant wait to see ya soon..

ii know uu had a heart time for work

xin ku neh le worh..

juz wanna say be safe and work hard alright.

Love uu lots..

Jia you work..

dun worry ii put many many song for uu...

haha when ii get to see uu..

juz always noe tat i'll be there to support uu..

love ya lots hun..

† 我是hikari♥

u take it or leave it..i'll leave it boy, i'm out of here..ii don't need u any more..

if ii had a dream,

ii dream it will be a fantasy..

a fantasy of uu and me were in e past..

never would want to wake up frm tat dream..

for the true hurts to know tat uu are already gone..

Absolut Vodka for the night!

It takes great courage to be in love and when all has come to an end,

it becomes e most wonderful memories..

if history would repeat itself again,

ii would choose the same path to walk because

it was a blessing to hv uu once in a lifetime..

ii remember those simple things..

e only memory ii want to forget is to say goodbye..

those were wonderful times ii cherish alot..

Being deeply loved by someone gives uu strength,

while loving someone deeply gives uu courage..

u take it or leave it..
i'll leave it boy, i'm out of here..
ii don't need u any more..